Well, it's late and I'm intoxicated

What else is new? I'm actually pretty content right now. I've been browsing Etsy and Pinterest and lusting over things. I just ordered two cosmetic items from Nars and a perfume sampler set from Etsy. The names of the perfumes are Dream, Ghost, and Moth. Are you kidding me? Such cool fucking names. The cosmetic items I bought are birthday gifts (from Daniel ;) or me), that I'm just now purchasing. I'm going to finish my order tomorrow in person. I'm going to go to the mall with my sister! I don't even remember the last time that happened. I'm pretty excited. I want to go to Sephora, Lush, and maybe Forever 21.

Man, Etsy has some of the coolest shit on the internet. I love how original everything is. I get kind of overwhelmed with all the things on Etsy. There are so many cool things to buy. Earrings and fragrances are my weaknesses. I miss buying things. Haha go figure. I haven't been buying things that I've been lusting over lately. I remember I used to do research and have like a wishlist before I bought anything. Which I guess I kind of do now, but before recently, it's been quite a while!

Man, I really need to go to bed. I bought some dark chocolate when I was on break at work today. I almost never buy chocolate, but today something was telling me to. Now, I'm wide awake.

I've been buying quite a bit of plants from work lately. Today, I bought a hanging basket for my chenille plant, two lavender ice plants, one "fire spinner" ice plant and two stonecrop sedums (same variety). I'm super excited to plant them! We're going to be redoing our mailbox area soon, which is where I want to put them. I'm really excited, because they're drought tolerant, low maintenance and still bloom! Well, the ice plants anyway. Ahh it's gonna look so good! I know I won't keep up with annuals that far away from the house, so this seems like the best option!

I've been itching to write lately, but haven't had much time. Luckily, school is over now. Thankfully. School is great and all, but finals paired with the busiest time of year don't go together very well. I'm happy this semester is over. I haven't been up to much. Just working really. I was off today, which was much needed.

My birthday was recently (I'm 26 now holy shit), and as I've been getting older I feel like I've pressured myself into feeling like I should make myself grow up appearance-wise. But I've also been thinking that I don't necessarily need to do that. Why is there pressure to make yourself look older just because you are? Fuck that. I don't know why I keep feeling that way. I guess, because I want to be considered professional. I mostly feel it when it comes to fun hairstyles.

I haven't been able to decide what I want to do with my hair lately. I keep leaning towards straight across bangs with a center part. I'm also unsure of the color. I know I want my ends light, I just don't know if I want to keep red at my base or go to my natural color. I know I overthink these things, I just know how much it can affect your self-esteem if you don't like the way you look.

I thought I had a lot more to write about, but apparently I don't!

Free Night (Sort Of)

I'm giving this night to myself. All I've been doing lately is working, going to school, and studying. I really haven't any time for myself. I finally cleaned my room this morning. It's been messy for what feels like a month at least. It sucks not having time to take care of stuff like that. I'm ready for this semester to be over. On a good note though, I'm finally out in sales at work! I'm super happy about that! Man, it feels good. I work in a greenhouse. I'll probably end up cashiering too when it slows back down, but who knows.

I've really been wanting to go back to Tellus Science Museum lately. I really want to go to the planetarium and the observatory again. National Astronomy Day is April 29, which is a Saturday, so I likely won't be able to go.

I had a super spacey dream last night that was really cool. I love when your brain makes things up that don't actually exist, but would be awesome if they did. Once, I had a dream I saw Sigur Ros play a concert in Iceland. I remember everything looked so colorful and dreamy, lots of elevation changes. But my dream last night, I saw the Milky Way galaxy in such clarity, and it was moving pretty fast. Then, I saw this crazy looking aurora type thing coming from the moon. It was very bright and colorful. It was so cool. It'd be cool to paint.

I haven't bought much as far as plants go yet this year. I've been needing to add soil to the semi-circle garden area. I finally bought some today. I bought 6 bags of top soil, 1 bag of compost (cow manure), and some sand. Sand will help with the drainage. I want to be smarter this year about what I buy. Last year, I went crazy and a lot of things died, because it was so hot. I also didn't plan very well.

Man Daniel found this guitar pedal review page on youtube and the music is amazing! The videos are shot so well too, that people who aren't even musicians can enjoy it. It's super droney and chill. If you're interested.

Here's a list of the things I've been itching to do:

Go to the planetarium/observatory
Eat at The Originial Pancake House in Atlanta
Get some flowers in my garden
Do something fun in Atlanta (Maybe the Botanical Garden or something)
Go to Little 5 Points before it gets too hot

I love this time of year so much. April is such a good month. There's 4/20 lol, Earth Day/March for Science (4/22), my birthday (4/24), National Astronomy Day (4/29 this year). It's gonna be a good month!

Herbalism

While I drink my beer and procrastinate studying woody plants and  I'm thinking about herbalism. It's definitely interesting. I would be interested in trying to grow plants for their medicinal uses. I would have to do a lot of research. There's an account that I follow on Instagram @flowermedicine_ and @plantfolk (same person I believe) that's really inspiring to me. I imagine having a garden like hers. If I'm being honest, in the least creepy way possible,  I imagine that I'm in that garden when I'm depressed.

I want to focus more on growing things for consumption. Right now, I have a fig tree waiting to leaf out, some spinach growing and mesclun seeds sprouting. I also bought some carrot and radish seeds that will be planted soon. I'm trying to find the best spot for them. I was going to put them in my raised bed, but the way the sun hits this time of year, I don't get full sun like I do in the summer. So they may have to be in a pot. I need more organic potting soil. I have some soil that has fertilizer in it, but I don't want to use that on food. I'll just use that in my ornamental flowers.

The more I'm thinking about it, the more I want to use my raised bed for growing flowers this summer. I can't grow any tomatoes or peppers because of crop rotation.

February is Almost Over

I'm two months into school now. Everything is going pretty well for the most part. I haven't had much free time though, however which kind of sucks. I don't have much time to reset my brain. I've been doing a lot of studying. memorizing and reading lately, but I don't feel like talking about school much right now.

I feel like I've been in a bit of a rut. I used to dream about wanting to do or accomplish certain things. But lately, they haven't been on my mind as much. Or if they have not in a positive light. I feel like I've thought of these things so often as my "happy place" in times of sadness or stress that they've lost their sheen a bit. It's discouraging.

I haven't felt very happy lately. There hasn't been much very new or stimulating, and life has been kind of boring. I guess it could be winter depression.

The last couple days, I've been trying to clean up areas in the backyard. There's quite a few areas that have been over taken by tree suckers (or new growth shooting from the roots). I've taken care of 2 areas out of like 6 or 7. So I still have a lot more work to do, but the most pressing and obvious areas are done. I'm getting callouses and blisters so it's kind of cool to see that my body is accomplishing things.

I have a feeling I'm going to end up putting my energy into getting the yard looking better. I'm tired of it weighing on me. I feel like my possessions are getting under control (there's always room for improvement, but I don't have a maybe pile right now.)

I'm kind of drunk right now so I'm gonna end this here.

Winter Blues

So judging by my vulgar last post, you can probably come to the conclusion that January and I don't get along. For whatever reason, since high school, I have always got a terrible depression the first week or two of January. Mostly the first week. It's seemed to carry with me even 9 years later. I try to avoid it, but it's inevitable. I know it has to do with that feeling of going back to school. You go from care free relaxing time with your loved ones to waking up early to a very cold, empty morning.

There was one particular year, my junior year, that hit me the hardest. It's easily in the top 3 if not most depressing times in my life. I don't want to get into the details of why, but it has to do with feeling very alone. Ever since then, I've always had a gut-wrenching sadness the first week of January.

I think it's safe to say I have moved passed it (at this point in the month anyway). Yesterday was my first day of school. It was my least interesting class, and I still really enjoyed it! It's a pest management class. I really like my teacher. He seems really laid back, and shares the same view points that I do. Tomorrow, I have Woody Ornamental Plant Identification, Small Scale Food Production, and Intro to Floral Design. I'm so excited.

I've started reading a book called "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo. It's about a different approach to minimalism. It is honestly the most relatable information I've read about minimalism. It also addresses a lot of the reasons why I feel I've failed in the past. The author seems to have gone through a lot of the same minimalist obstacles I have and have wrote about. She never actually uses that word though. The jist of it is going through everything very quickly and for the most part only once. Like a life event. You basically go through every item, by category not room, and ask yourself if the item "sparks joy".

Where I struggle, and one of the things she addresses, is going through everything little by little. If you go through little by little, you will never actually finish. I'm a little scared to do it though, because I feel like I will hold onto things just because I feel like I should. Or because I spent a lot of money on it. If you do that though, I feel like you're not doing the true Konmari method. You jipping yourself. But knowing me, I'm probably going to do it anyway.

Anyway, I'm probably going to try this once I finish the book. I'm like 41% through according to Kindle. I'll be sure to write my thoughts and experience with it!

FUCK JANUARY