Sea of Emotions

Lately, I've been feeling all sorts of weird. I feel like lots of things are changing or happening at once. My mom and step-dad (and possibly brother) are probably going to be moving to Florida. She's confused about it as well. I know that's where her and Ray (my step-dad) have always wanted to be. We came to Georgia for the good schools and you get more for your money here. I haven't been that close to my mom the last few years, but honestly it's from what I mentioned before. I get tired of her laying all her problems on me every time we talk. It takes a lot out of you, especially when you have your own problems to deal with. I've came to the conclusion (and felt this way from the beginning): it's going to suck, but she deserves happiness. If not seeing her in person, but having a skype conversation where she's finally happy happens, that's worth it to me.

The house she's in is wayyy too much for her. It would be for anyone. I got overwhelmed living there, which is why I moved in with Daniel and his mom two summers ago. They already refinanced the mortgage, which added on like 15 years to a 40 year mortgage. So realistically, they'll never own it. But anyway, she would be downsizing. She's talking about buying a cheap house with cash and maybe getting a loan to fix it up. I honestly feel like that's whats best for her. I really wish I would've known about downsizing, debt, and not biting off more than you can chew when they bought that house. However, she probably still would've wanted to buy it. Last year she almost bought a house than was even bigger than the 3,000 sq. ft. one she's in now! I'm so happy it didn't end up working out.

On a different note, Daniel and I discussed going to cosmetology school. Daniel told his mom I was interested in that and she talked to her best friend who is a hair stylist. She basically said that that amount of money is ridiculous and that you end up learning the same thing at a technical college. She went to Gwinnett Tech, which is where I first thought about going. It all comes down to passing the boards. She also brought up trade shows (I think that's what they're called). Basically, I think they're like expos, (several every year) where you learn how to better your skills and learn new and coming things in your trade. I would definitely be interested in that.

If I did that, we would only be out a couple hundred probably instead of several thousand. Plus, I already have taken my core classes, assuming they transfer.  I'd most likely be going the Spring semester, so after Christmas. Daniel is fully supportive of it. That makes me very happy and makes me feel a lot better. His support has really been important to me and helps me realize everything is going to be ok. He's not only supported me, but pumped me up. It's really made me excited for the future.

So yeah a lot of changes are happening, which is kind of scary, but life can't stay the same forever!

Getting Inspired

It's weird how buying things can make you inspired, maybe it's just me. I've desperately been wanting to decorate, so I went to Michael's today and bought a few small things. I bought some feathers, fake flowers, a tiny hanging terrarium (it's empty), an tiny autumn floral stem, a wide potter and a tiny bird cage. I'm pretty happy with my purchases and it only came out to $13. A lot of it was on sale. My little craft room is starting to come along :) It's only the beginning, but I like where it's going. Anyway, I feel like Michael's is my new favorite store! They have good prices and sales on a lot of items and I can customize my decorations rather than just buying some. I also went to Pier 1 and bought 4 tiny white bowls that were $1.50 each. I saw them the other day, but didn't buy them. From cooking more often, I've realized they were perfect for putting random ingredients in. For example, oil, eggs for sealing egg rolls wraps ect. So I went back and bought them today. They're actually bigger than I remember, but that's ok. We have 4 tiny glass bowls now that we use all the time so it'll be nice to have some extras.

It's so hard to walk into Michael's and not want to buy everything! Well mostly the fall stuff lol. I think I want to make a flag garland thing for the fireplace once fall gets a little closer. There really aren't any good colors to represent August. Every time I go there I always get caught up in the scrapbook section. I just love looking at all the stickers, papers, and little random things for scrap books. I don't know why, but I've always been drawn to little pieces. As an example, when I was younger, I didn't really care for Barbies that much, but I was more interested in their clothes and accessories. Polly pocket as another example. Scrap booking supplies kind of remind me of that.  I really liked all the stamps and decorative hole punches they had there as well, but I don't really have a use for them. Maybe around Christmas to make handmade cards or something, but that's all I can think of.

Lately, I've kind of been wanting a record player again. However, I think I want a modern one this time. And probably one with speakers built in. I miss the crackly sound of a record player.

Cooking With Hubby

Well, he did most of the work! Lol. For dinner I had an idea that I wanted to cook something together with Daniel. We decided on something easy, turkey shepard's pie. It was delicious. And the whole process was very fun, and exactly what I needed. It's really nice to spend time with Daniel doing something other than walking around a store or watching tv. It's been so long since we've cooked together, so it was really nice. 

We also went to a variety of stores before dinner. We went to Michael's and I got sort of inspired, but for what I don't know lol. I just got a good feeling from being there. Oh, I bought a twig wreath :D weird I know, but I've been wanting one since I moved in. I saw a neighbor that had one on the porch and fell in love. I'll have to wait for fall though ;) it just doesn't seem appropriate now lol. 

I'm getting so excited for the future and what I'm hoping it will bring. I'm ready for change for the better!

It's Mornings Like This

That make me miss living with my mom and siblings. Morning, summer, humid, listening to 88.5 (Georgia State College Radio), feeling dirty since I haven't showered yet. Lately I've been sort of lonely. I miss my family. I'd go and see them more, but every time I do it's depressing. My mom lays a lot on me. I know she doesn't have anyone to talk to, but at the same time I'm not her psychiatrist you know? I just want to enjoy her company. That really is the reason why I don't visit more often. I leave feeling more sad than I did when I got there. But from that also brings a certain amount of appreciation for the lack of chaos in my life. In a way, I do sort of miss the chaos. There were good parts with the bad. There was always something going on.

I texted my sister the other day. I said she should come over soon since we haven't seen each other in forever and she never wrote me back. I'm surprised she didn't write me back. I mean it's probably been a month since we've talked. I'll just try again soon I guess. I'm proud and jealous of my sister. She recently finished grooming school. Her work (Petsmart) paid for it and now she has a 2 year contract for them. I think it's funny we're probably both going to end up having careers in cutting hair. I really want to go to hair school. However, I probably won't be able to until at least the winter semester because of money.

I just messaged a girl on facebook who I used to work with that now goes to a cosmetology school. I wanted to get some basic questions answered like if she likes it, how much it costs ect. I knew she went to a particular school, but I didn't know how close it was to my house! I just did a brief google search and found that out. It's like a 12 minute drive according to google.  I'm getting really excited now since I found that out. It's funny how thoughts take certain paths. Like being upset about my sister led me to doing research on my dream (which I've really been needing to do and get the motivation). I'm feeling very optimistic. I did an estimated net price calculator and it was pretty pricy. However, it is cheaper than Aveda and the other one I was looking at (I can't remember the name). But still I'm assuming better than going to a community college. There's financial aid available. It probably won't be able to cover near what I need it to, but that's ok. I understand how to pay off debt. I need credit anyway. And also I can't expect to better my life without giving a little first. I'm feeling so excited right now! :)