I don't know how to be the person I want to be

I'm not even sure what kind of person I want to be. Obviously, if I could change one thing, it would be eating healthy/working out. I didn't do too bad today. I worked out sort of. I didn't do any squats though cause my legs are still really sore from yesterday. I would probably instantly fall.

I would like to go camping/go for hikes more. Mostly what gets in the way of this is work. If I have a job where I get two days off a week, I could probably do it more often. But when I only have one day off, I don't get to go anywhere.

I wish I were more motivated. Mostly in the job department.

Ok I'm going to make a list mostly for myself of things I'd like to change:

1. Eat better/work out more (I'm starting to get better)
2. Find a different job
3. Start going to school (still don't know what I'm doing financially)
4. Keep up with the house (this will be difficult to do until we get a house with carpet)
5. Go camping more/go for hikes
6. Hang out with family more

I'm starting to realize a pattern with a lot of these things. Most of these things are things I don't have much control over. I can't go to school, because I'm trying to figure out what to do about money (I'll just say this, it's not up to me.) It's impossible to keep up with the floors and table surfaces. The black shows every particle of dust. I would literally have to clean both twice a day for it to look good. I can't go camping or go hiking, because I can't get off of work. And I can't hang out with my family, because they all work ALL the time. We all do.

This has been kind of a sad post, which I hadn't planned on. I just have to slowly figure things out.