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I've been feeling quite overwhelmed with possessions. Shocker. Although I did go through about a quarter of objects that have been weighing me down mentally. I still have a bunch to go through. I think some of whats overwhelming me too, is that I don't have control over some things. Like the garage at all. Also, the kitchen. Mainly those two. I honestly would love to just have 4 place settings, barely any glasses, minimal appliances. But Daniel collects beer glasses and would never let me get down to just 4 place settings. What can ya do?

I almost feel like the longer I'm a minimalist, the harder it becomes (about 9 years now holy shit; although I've had these tendencies since high school). Because I've been down to barely any possessions before and know that I need a little more to be happy. Or at least I thought. I've been through cycles of buying and purging so often that it's hard to commit to serious minimalism. I use things temporarily, then I'm ready to get rid of them. I will say I have gotten A LOT better though. Now it's mostly plants that are the issue.

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So now it's been a couple hours later, and I've finished going through the things I was talking about earlier. I still have a few items that I'm still deciding on, but for the most part, I've gone through everything. I moved most of my possessions into my closet, just to get everything in one place. I've been on a minimalist youtube video binge today and that was one of the tips suggested; to get everything in one area. So now, all you can see in my bonus room is my desk, a lamp and plants (including a shelf that has many plants on it.) I'm pretty proud. This is the most minimal I've felt in a while. It'll be a different story whenever I actually drop those items off at Goodwill. However, there are a few things that I need to try and sell. I really don't want to. I'd rather just cut my losses and donate them, but Daniel wants me to try and sell them. We'll see what happens. I rearranged my room too. I feel that's necessary sometimes.

Lately, I've been enjoying just hanging out at home and being lazy on the couch watching shows/documentaries. Usually, Daniel and I always go the mall area when we have time off together and just go to stores to walk around and occasionally shop. No wonder I struggle with buying things all the time. I think we both find comfort in it for some reason. I want to try and get away from that if I can. I know that's when I mess up the most.

Oh well, I feel like I've had some set backs that I'm still recovering from (namely hair school, and all the clothes, make up, tools, products associated with it). But I feel good about the future. Every time I go through a decluttering process, it opens my eyes to the things I honestly do use/don't use.

lol ok I'm way too drunk to keep writing <3

It's Fall. Sort of.

So not too much has happened lately in these parts. I did, however, pass my green shirt test!! Which I'm super happy about! This has been an EXTREMELY long process though! It took almost 3 weeks to get graded. On top of that when I found out I passed (I got a 93) and ordered my shirts, I found out my size is on back order...So who knows how long it's going to be before I actually receive my shirts. Very frustrating.

I've also set up my tattoo consultation, appointment, and paid the deposit. The consultation is in October and the actual appointment is in November. I cannot wait! We've also booked a cabin in Cherry Log, GA for our 4 year anniversary around that time. So basically, we're going to go on vacation, then I'll get my tattoo the day we come back.

I've been trying to not be on my phone as much lately. Having to cut back on data is mostly the reason. I've gone over on data the last two months and am getting tired of paying $90 for my phone bill alone. Daniel is on Google Fi and I'm on AT&T. Eventually, when the cancellation fee to monthly bill ratio becomes beneficial, I'm going to switch to Google Fi. Anyway, I basically went on a data diet and didn't use any data on my phone for a week straight. It was interesting, and almost habit breaking. I'm slowly trickling back by day 2, but I do think I'm doing much better than before. Disconnecting and bringing your focus to real life is definitely an eye opener. It's really crazy and sad when you realize just how much time you spend checking your phone. I used to not even have a cell phone until my senior year of high school and I got by just fine. I can't believe how dependent I've become.

The next few weeks I'm just going to be counting down to cool weather and indulging in everything pumpkin. After all, it is almost the best time of year. Right now, I'm dreaming of a chilly day tending to my garden in the morning, drinking something hot, then heading out to the observatory as it gets dark. Daniel hinted to me that he wants to get me a telescope for christmas. Honestly, I couldn't think of a better gift. I'm in a very spacey mood at the moment and currently listening to this.

Studying

So the last week was a good one. I got a lot of hours, and I've been studying to get my "green shirt" at work. When you start there, you have to wear a brown shirt. But if you pass a horticulture test, you get to wear a green collared shirt and suddenly become one of the employees customers come to for questions. This is going to be interesting for me though since I'm a cashier. I'm HOPING it will get me on track to start being an associate outside. Once fall hits, we're going to start seeing more business. My goal is to get my green shirt next week possibly or maybe the week after. I feel like I'll definitely be ready by the end of this upcoming week.

So I was talking to Daniel about it, and when I get my green shirt, I want to reward myself with the tattoo I've been wanting forever. I had been delaying this because of the placement. Initially, I wanted it on my forearm, then my inner bicep, but now I'm thinking on the outside. I'll have to give this more thought, but I know I want it. At work, we're not allowed to have any visible tattoos. But my sleeve would cover it.

Anyway, I'm super excited. I feel like my life is finally headed in the right direction. I love where I work, I'm in the right environment, I love the people I'm around at work, and my brain is being put to use every day. It's the perfect amount of science for me. Horticulture is the perfect field for my black and white brain. Once you learn something you're set. The information isn't going to constantly change like other fields. It's very comforting to me. Not only that, but I'm around what I love everyday. Plants are so relaxing to me. The other day a customer came in and she told me she came there "to relax for a little while." I was like damn and this is where I get to fucking work? I am so fortunate. The money isn't great, but I do love my job.

I'm so excited to see where the future is headed. But right now, I'm enjoying the present. That's the important part.

Boring Life Update

Life lately hasn't been too different. I've been working. Although my hours are significantly cut next week, which I'm not too stoked about. It'll be nice to have a little break, but the lack of money sucks. Apparently, nurseries are dead in the summer. Who knew? For me, now it's obvious, but to most people it's not. "It's just too hot to plant." I've neglected the garden. I tried to weed it some today, but I didn't get all of it. My spring flowering perennials have burned to a crisp. I tried to find out online if this is normal or just lack of care, but I couldn't find anything out. I'll have to ask someone at work. I'm going to have to plan better next year, instead of just buying whatever catches my eye. But, I know myself too well to know that's not going to work. I find a lot of things beautiful and it's hard to limit myself. You can't have it all.

ANYWAY, as you know I've been thinking about going back to school. As you also may know, Daniel and I had planned to open a home brew supply store. However, as of today, we both decided we're not ready for it. Right now, Daniel is going through what I've gone through for most of my life: finding where you fit in the world. I believe I've finally found my calling. Since I was a child, my biggest fear in life was not being able to find a career. Weird right? I was never that girl that dreamed of being whisked away by Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Husbands and kids were never something I really thought about. I believe that has something to do with the way I grew up. We grew up very poor. My parents divorced when I was 4-5 ish. My mom for the most part raised the three of us as a single parent. She dated here and there, and we were "getting by." Until my step-dad came along when I was 9, and really took us on as his own. But before then, I learned you can't rely on anybody but yourself. You have to put yourself (and kids if you have them) first. I believe it follows Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. My young brain was programmed to realize that safety (place to live and money to support yourself) come first.

If you've been following my blogs or know me personally, you would know that I have an Associate's Degree in business administration and am a state licensed hair designer. However, I have am not particularly interested in either one. And I absolutely have no interest in hair. That was honestly my biggest regret in life. I've been trying to find where I "fit in" in the world. And long story short, I believe I've found it with plants/horticulture. It's been so comfortable and "right" feeling. But it's been a journey full of wasted time and money. But I guess that's life. Live and learn. But, if I decide to go back to school, my business degree won't go to complete waste. I can put my classes towards my new degree and it will take half the time. But to be fair, I didn't have much to pay for my business degree. I had a scholarship that paid for most of my school (thank you HOPE). And it should still pay for the majority of my school if I choose to go back.

Coming back to my original point, Daniel is going through what I've been going through and is trying to find where he fits into the world career wise. In the spring, it's possible we'll both be going back to school together. For him, most likely IT/networking. He's a computer guy. That's what his friends do and are decently paid to do it. I really feel it's a good, solid fit for him. I'm really proud of him. I know it's taken a lot for him to hold off the business for now. But neither of us are ready for it. I honestly think it's the best for us and our future family. We'll see what the future holds, but for right now, I think we're headed in the right direction.

Closet



This is my closet currently. This is not my entire wardrobe, but more of my summer wardrobe. I do have some clothes in the laundry. However, the bulk of my clothes are in my actual bedroom. But they're in a "purgatory" pile. I've been trying to slowly sort though them. I do have some things isolated, because they're out of season but I feel it's not really fair to sort through those until the appropriate season rolls around. I also have a bunch of bags/purses/backpacks that are really, really cute, but I don't use them. That's perhaps the hardest type of item to get rid of.

I'm really happy with the way my bonus room is coming along. I still wish I had a better plant solution. I feel like the open storage looks kind of sloppy, but I can't think of a better alternative at the moment. (I am missing some air plants in the picture that are currently soaking.) I also have an extra orchid for my mom that I still haven't given her from Mother's Day. Oops. Anyway, I'm happy to be getting back into minimalism and conscious consumerism (is that a thing?). I have a pile downstairs that's almost ready for a yard sale. I can't wait until I've sorted through everything and that pile is ready to go. I feel like I'm like 3/4 of the way there.

Simplified Shopping

So for a while now I've found myself trying to only buy from certain stores or only certain brands. I'm sure it has to do with my love for uniformity (on certain things) as well as trial and error. It's kind of the whole Trader Joe's thing. Streamlining your buying options.

Right now, the only place I want to buy underwear from is Aerie for multiple reasons. Quality, fit, and the fact that they don't photoshop or airbrush their models at all. I really, really respect that. I've never been a Victoria's Secret girl. Within the last year, I finally gave them a try (surely it must be worth the hype). It definitely wasn't. Most of their stuff wasn't at all comfortable and extremely overpriced. It also fit me terribly. Luckily, Aerie is finally back at the mall after a year or two hiatus.

As far as clothes, for the most part all I've been buying is from H&M, Target, and the occasional Old Navy. I'm very done with Forever 21. From their shit quality, to their art stealing, and unethical labor. (H&M isn't the best either, but it's got to be better than Forever 21.) I do like buying second hand as well, I just haven't been as much lately.

As for make-up, lately I've only been using Nars, Sonia Kashuk, and some MAC. The MAC stuff I buy, could easily be replaced by another brand, but I'm just trying to use it up. The only eyeshadow I have it from urban decay. Honestly, I don't even use it that much. It's just for special occasions.

I have a couple perfumes right now that aren't derived from natural scents. After I use them up or get rid of them, I'm finished with that. I'm done with Bath and Body Works (except maybe for candles I haven't decided yet, I may just go to Yankee Candle if I really can't resist.) Since I've mostly stopped using the unnatural scents, they don't even smell that good to me anymore.

I'm going to try and stop buying cheap, shitty jewelry, since I really don't even wear it that much. It's been a long time since I've bought anything like that anyway. I pretty much only did for my old job and school. If I do buy anything I want to try and get it from Etsy. (Most likely only earrings).

Obviously, I don't stick to this 100% percent. This is more of an overview of what I tend to buy. I find that if I try to limit where I buy from, then I'm a lot less likely to make dumb purchases.

Packing Party Update

I had originally planned on doing only clothes and accessories, however I decided to just go ahead and take about 95% of everything in my bonus room (Daniel and I each have one but we obviously share the master bedroom) and put it in the master. These days I really feel like all I've been doing is moving most of my belongings back and forth between the two rooms. Anyway, I just went ahead and bagged everything up besides the things that I knew I definitely wanted to keep. So far, it's working out pretty well. I'm actually pretty amazed at how little I've pulled out of the bags. Wearing a work uniform definitely helps. When I get home from work, I basically put on pajamas. Unless, we go out somewhere. Even though, when I walk in our bedroom I see basically everything I own, I still feel less stressed out. When I go in to my bonus room, there's almost nothing. The closet is basically bare. I do have my make up in there, as well as a few pieces of clothes I know I want. I also have my record player and records in there. I don't think there's much besides that.

In other news, I've been working my ass off, and Daniel's been helping, on my perennial/butterfly/bee garden. It started off as a bunch of plants that I've accumulated in pots. I decided I wanted to take the next step and actually put them in the ground. Daniel came up with the idea of doing a semi circle with the vegetable/herb garden in the center. So, that's what we did. Today, I finished the bulk of it. Everything is done except the finishing details. We need to add mulch and add a border. I'm beyond excited. There are a few annuals in there, as well as a perennials. There's one though that unfortunately isn't doing that great. I really hope it makes a come back. But basically, I want to see what will come back next year, and replace whatever doesn't come back with a bee or butterfly plant. With how unpredictable and mild our winters have been, you really don't know whats an annual or perennial anymore.

When I initially bought the plants, I just bought them because I thought they were cool looking, but I really want to make the entire garden a pollinator garden. Live and learn I guess. Some stuff that I bought said that it attracted butterflies, but it doesn't. I'm honestly convinced that butterflies are very rare. It makes me sad beyond belief. I haven't seen any butterflies or hummingbirds in large quantities in a few years. Fuck you climate change. On top of that I've seen so many trees being demolished for road expansions lately. It makes me so fucking sad. I'll admit that I'm a tree hugger.

I'm wondering if people are slowly starting to realize that bigger isn't always better. I feel like you don't hear about people being in debt as often as you did a few years ago. I hope this is the case. I feel like our economy won't start growing again until all these debt gaps are filled.

Alright, well have had enough intoxicated writing for tonight.